Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Superbowl Recap (From Someone Who Doesn't Watch Football)

Awww, February. In the world of Rg Lovecraft that means two things: my birthday and not-watching-the-Superbowl, and it just so happens that I got to do both in the same day! While it may be stigmatizing for someone to grow up in Texas and not watch the sportsball, I think that therein lies the reason as to why I don't watch it. Growing up, I got Superbowl/Birthday parties. Fuck that, it's MY party and I don't feel too inclined to share, thankyouverymuch.

This year I had a nice relaxing birthday. Celebrating was out of the way, having partied on Saturday night, I spent the day with friends in their backyard, drinking beers, throwing batarangs at beer boxes and occasionally hearing about the Bronco's brutal rape while I was getting my next beer.

As far as I'm concerned, there were two (and only two) things about this Superbowl that you need to know about, since I know you were all too busy watching the Puppy Bowl or the Fishbowl to worry about watching silly sportsball:

1. This totally awesome RadioShack commercial:

Everyone knows the 80's were awesome, in all of it's spandexed, cross-dressing glory, especially in the horror genre. Not only do we have Dee Snyder and Hulk Hogan running amok in this masterpiece of advertising, but we also have two of our own: Jason Voorhees and Chucky. Teen Wolf's Scott Howard and Slimer even show up at one point.

You really can't have have a commercial celebrating the 80's without tipping the hat the horror, and while I'm surprised that Freddy doesn't show up, this is pretty damn awesome.

2. Dat halftime show: 

There is a long and storied history behind the Superbowl Halftime Show, the greatest of the great in The Biz, keeping us entertained while the God's of the Gridiron rest of their weary knees and toes after two quarters of grueling homeruns or whatever they do. Up until 1991, the Halftime show was handled by marching bands from varying universities. New Kids on the Block were the first pop act to play a halftime show (thanks Donnie!) followed by the likes of Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, U2, Sir Paul McCartney and more. 

Last year, Beyonce tore the house down (literally, remember the light debaucle?) keeping with the tradition of well established, seasoned veterans playing the Halftime show. This year however, newcomer Bruno Mars took the stage and he tore it the fuck up. I have not seen a pop performance like that in years. Tears, laughter, joy, whatever I was feeling, it prompted us to need to watch it twice more after it initially aired. Thank god for DVR. 
While the Red Hot Chili Peppers are receiving tons of flack due to Flea's invisible bass cable, Bruno Mars was the true shining star of the Superbowl this year, proving that he just may be the true hope and salvation of the pop industry. His amazing talent as a singer/songwriter mixed with his stage performance (think Michael Jackson/James Brown) is something to behold. My lordy, I am a fan. 

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